May 30, 2025
Episode 1: Networking...Is it too loud or are we too old?
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We’re too old for 7PM networking events and too loud for quiet quitting. In our first full episode, we’re diving into the awkward, overpriced, and overly loud world of networking . Do we still need it? Does it work? And what the hell are we supposed to wear? From cliquey orgs to award show drama, we’re spilling it all—and yes, we were in bed by 8:30.
Episode 1: Networking Edited v2
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[00:00:00] it's our first full episode. Here we go. Episode one. Networking, everything you've ever wanted to know about how we really feel about networking, what we dread about it, what we love about it, what we don't know, what to fucking wear about it. I love that part. Fucking style guides. Yes. It's gonna be a fun episode.
We're gonna break down networking. , So don't forget to like, subscribe, follow us, all that good stuff. Let's go.
Entry song. Welcome to, it's Just My Face with Adrienne and Leorah. It's just my face is the after party where event pros get real about the work, the wins, and the what the fuck moments We're gonna be mixing stories, strategies, and yes, some rants, but we're here to help you grow your business, lead your team.
And keep your sanity in this chaotic world we call the event industry. All right. Fellow [00:01:00] old lady. What time do you prefer to do your networking during the day? Three o'clock. Why? Because I get to cut my day short. Oh, sweet. To leave the office.
Leave work. Sweet. Yeah. Skip traffic. Ooh, yes. I'm usually ready for a cocktail or a glass of wine by then. Yep. Um, and then get home in time for tea in bed. Perfect. Like lotus time, white, lotus, righteous gemstones. Whatever's your fancy. Yeah. I'm definitely in bed by eight 30. Um, we all know this really awesome group who plans these really great parties.
Right. Design is killer. There's normally some sort, there's such good parties. There's normally some sort of, uh, surprise element in them too, which everyone looks forward to. Um, but they start at seven. That's too late. Um, I almost went this last week. I, I'm sure it was awesome. I always feel like I miss [00:02:00] out when I don't go.
I, I know I missed out, but. Uh, you know, I, I realized I had every intention of going and, uh, I even ate some extra food before I left the house because I've learned that you can't count on food at these events either. Sure. Which is okay. Yeah. 'cause you know, budgets and all that, totally get it and I'm sure we'll talk more about that later.
Mm-hmm. But I had this realization that I could be in bed at eight 30 or I could wish I was in bed at nine o'clock and, uh, yeah. Bed one. Yeah. That was literally what your text said. Yeah, I know. It was a good one. So I thought I'd do that. Um, I went to the BBJ Open house Yeah. The day before that party. And it was, it started at three.
That's amazing. It was perfect. I got there at three 30. I left it a little bit before five home dinner, it time for dinner, had dinner. I. A real dinner. Actual dinner, put the kid to bed. It was a very [00:03:00] normal type evening. Right. But I wonder if uh, any of our listeners in our twenties think we're super fucking lame though.
I'm sure like they don't care about staying out late. I'm sure that they have no issues about it. Like I have every faith that if we are talking about how late these go, because we are over 40, because I never thought of it much before in my twenties and thirties, man, I was there. And then you went to the after party.
I always went to the after party. The after party was the best part. But I'll tell you that is where I made my best connections with people is like, 'cause that's when things get real. Like that's when you really get to know someone. And those are the connections that like work and are why we're doing this in the first place, aren't they?
Yeah. And some of the memories that you will never forget, even though you're surprised, you actually remember. Yeah, I've probably said some things to people that I shouldn't have one of my favorite memories is the end of season parties we used to throw. Those were great. Yeah. [00:04:00] Those were super fun. And I remember one we had, it was like a seventies theme for those of you guys who went to that. Are memories of 10 people that I can see their faces and they're probably like, oh my God, don't name me and I won't. Those things, they were a blast. They really were.
They were blast. And they did not end at nine. So in the young people's defense, you know, no, it's great. We used to, we used to rage. We did. It's great. Those were the days when you really, I feel like all of us make our great connections. And feel connected in the industry and make a name for ourselves and, put ourselves out there.
Get out, get on the map, if you will. Yeah. 'cause I will say, I'm feeling a little out of it these days because, you know, we are in this next phase of our careers and so part of me hopes that people know who I am. And you know, we're, we're legacy people and we don't have to work so hard at the networking.
But I feel like that's [00:05:00] not true. I don't feel like anybody knows who the fuck we are. They don't anymore. It happened overnight, but it, I think it also happened because they stopped showing up. Yeah. No, I think it's our fault. Are you really? Are you really there? Yeah. Like, are you still there? I mean, you legit disappeared.
I wasn't a, well, I was like Timmy's stuck in a fucking well for a few years. Okay. Yeah. So Adrienne definitely disappeared. I never fully did. Yeah. Yeah. But you were gone. I was gone. Gone. And then you came back kinda. And so you've been at a couple networking things. Yeah, I've been at a couple ones recently and we'll talk about 'em a little bit more.
I think my first rant would be that, um, you took me to WIPA. Yeah. I was scared. Yeah, you were. Um, I was scared, but you were like, let's go. And I was like, okay, let's go., And everyone was very welcoming, very nice. , Good. Saw some people, made some new friends, saw people I didn't know before. It was good. I put myself out there, which I hadn't done in a long time.
So that felt good. But it was so fucking loud, Clara. Oh my god. It was [00:06:00] so loud. I remember growing up, my dad, he still, to this day, he'll make reservations about, he'll make his decisions about reservations based on how loud it's going to be. Totally. And I have always made fun of him for it. Now you are him.
Now it's totally different. I mean, thank God at that whip event, they had earplugs, whoever that planner was that was walking around with 'em, you were a fucking angel. Angel sent from heaven. And I hope you listen to us and you know what a magical being you truly are.
Even during dinner though, like I had two people to the sides to me and were like kind of all having a conversation. And then I found 'em, they were like shouting over me. They were like shouting at my boobs as they were trying to talk to one another. It's a good image. As, as I'm using my hands, they was watching me like with these two heads going towards my chest of these two very nice women having a conversation, basically on top of me.
Well, because you know, the one on the one side and the one on the other side is going What? Yeah. What? Huh? What'd she say? I didn't [00:07:00] hear. Yeah. And it, it's, and to like these performers. To, not to their fault. We've all spent the better part of our careers next to loud music, right?
Yeah. Like, you know, we're in ballrooms, the sound echoes, it's loud as shit, the MCs like, it's loud, right? We work in loud environments, so it's no surprise that our hearing fucking sucks. I think that goes into like if I'm, if I'm supposed to be networking at these things, like is that what I'm supposed to be doing?
Or am I supposed to be just getting, getting drunk and dancing? Like, what do you guys want me to do here? Well, right. There's been like an interesting shift I think a little bit, um, with the types of events that we're having and we're going to, to network. Is it networking or is it a party? Because of course like the bands are gonna play loud because this is our opportunity to showcase themselves and do their things and yeah, we plan parties all day long and this is our opportunity to get down and, and boogie.
Mm-hmm. You know? Sure. But [00:08:00] if we're supposed to be networking at the same time, it's hard to do. It's hard to do that. However, I've always said since, you know, a lot of you know that I was on the board of WIPA and I've involved with that organization for a really long time, and it's near and dear to my heart.
Um, and we'd say like, I make my best connections and relationships with people, you know, half drunk out on the dance floor. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Because it's real. Sure. So there's, there's truth to that, but it's hard to really get to know people. Sure. So I think there's a little, I feel like really what we're missing is a good mix of the type of networking events that are available to us right now.
Sure. Are we going to party, which is hard for us old people, or are we going to network? Which is good for everybody. Sure. Or are we going to learn something? Yes. Right. Like, I know some groups, you know, they do like, you know, the educations or the lunch and learns. And some of that content can be [00:09:00] good and some of it, can be shit.
I think we've all had those experiences and that's hard. I think to the people that put those things on, it's hard because like everybody's skills and knowledges in those rooms can be very diverse. Right. So it's like, for you and me, we go to a sales one. Somebody might get a lot out of it and we might be like, oh, it's trash.
So I think to those organizations, that's a hard thing to do is to have a diverse offering . but it's also entertaining, right? 'cause you've gotta, people have to want to go, right?
, If you're just like, Hey, come have a sandwich and let me show you how to have a better sales process. Like, that sounds boring as fuck. Like no one's gonna want to go, right. Right.
You brought up like being on the dance floor and making a lot of connections. So if I am a manager of a company, right, and let's say I pay for memberships for three of my salespeople. To go to these things. I'm gonna speak in math a few times. Yes. Right. So let's say, I, and I did total this up.
So let's say [00:10:00] if I paid for them their memberships for nace and they went to some wipa, maybe they just kind of did some stuff here and there. Maybe they went to N-P-M-P-I, maybe they went to the Venue Hub conference. You know, I'm trying to get my, my team out there, right? So I'm looking at spending, about $5,000 per person.
That's a lot. So if I have three of them, I'm spending 15 grand on these things. Not even talking about if I sponsor any events, I'm just talking about just memberships and paying for the events and the parties. Right? So since you were on the dance floor, Leorah, Yeah. Like have you made genuine connections that have, have led to a financial response Yes.
From your dance floor? I, I can, I can answer vaguely yes. If you ask me to put like what my ROI dollar figure is, I cannot tell you. I do, it's impossible to track. But I would say that my time invested in an organization, again, I can use WIPA as my example. I made [00:11:00] the strongest connections with vendor partners there to the point where if anyone ever asked me for any recommendation at all, it was always and only a fellow WEBPA member.
And I know that I was included in that in return. So. I think that it is possible, but I think that we have to be smart about your expectations. Mm-hmm. Again, it's better to be out there mm-hmm. And continue to show face so that you're recognizable and you always come to mind. That's why Sure. It's hard that we haven't been around as much, you know?
Totally. Yeah. When we're complaining that we've fallen off the map and not everyone knows who we are anymore, like, you can see that, you can see the, the result of that really easily, but I think it also comes with the level of involvement that you choose to make with an organization. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. You know, sitting on a board of an organization is going to [00:12:00] reap way more benefit and long-term relationships.
Mm-hmm. Um, maybe once you graduate from going to all the after parties and actually, you know, like doing the, doing the work, start doing some work. Mm-hmm. Start doing some work. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And you make a good point not to dis not to discount the value of just pr Right. And, you know, just marketing and that, there's no way to ever really correlate a direct return on some of that kind of stuff.
Sometimes it's like, no, I met somebody at this networking thing. They literally called me the next day and I got a booking. Yeah. Amazing. And that does happen. It's literally happened to me. You're like, holy shit, this actually works,
okay, so I went to one event, um, I don't know, like probably a month ago.
And it's, it's the same people that were there when I went to this organization before you dropped off the face of the earth seven years ago. Even before my drop off, which my, oh, yeah, yeah. Way before my drop off. That's a long time ago. Yeah. So I'm just saying that group [00:13:00] who I really like, I like and I like those people that are there.
To me, I'm very concerned about their longevity. ' There has to be 20 year olds in the room. There can't just be 40 and 50 year olds. It's the same. Same. I know, I know which group you're talking about. Love you guys, but love you. But like, don't go to your events anymore because it's the same group of 25, 30 people who have just continued to be there and like, how do you get new blood in the room?
Because there's so many cool people that are coming up in the industry. Sure. That I'm just, you know, I see a lot of them at the WIPA events. Sure. But where are they? Where are they going? I was on a call the other day, um, with Visit Denver and they had an in-person meeting and a virtual meeting. I was on the phone virtually and there were like 25 event.
Entrepreneurs companies represented at this visit [00:14:00] Denver meeting who I had never heard of before. Awesome. And they all seemed really awesome. And they weren't just like planners and photographers and some were venues. Um, but they're doing different shit. But they're doing different shit and they seem so awesome.
Yeah. And they're part of our community. But when we go to these community networking events, like where are they? Sure. Where are they going? Yeah. Are they just going to visit Denver? 'cause we don't go to visit Denver Star. Apparently I have to go to visit Denver. Um, is it this like weird chasm between corporate world and wedding world?
Like May Yeah. What, what is it? Where are the up and coming. Photographers. Yeah. Where are the up and coming planners? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Going, but I get inquiries all the time from new planners that I've never heard of before. Sure. And I, I'll be honest, like sometimes I discount them because I don't know who they are and that is not fair.
Sure. Just because we're not going in the same circle. So my [00:15:00] question is, what other, are we not aware of a whole other networking web that we're just not involved in, in this industry, in this city? What's going on? Maybe because like the five that I'm thinking of certainly don't have this group of people that you're talking about.
Yeah. So I mean maybe, and maybe they just choose to interact in other ways, right? They, you know, they're on social, they're very active in those ways, and maybe they're just kind of connecting in other ways, or maybe they're just fucking grinding. And they don't give a shit about what other people are doing.
So there's a lot of power in that too. Not saying that the connections aren't important, but maybe they're just like, I'm just over here working and I'm just, you know, I'll figure that other shit out later. . I don't know. I have a younger, um, seller who works under me and I've been trying to think about organizations that I want her to join.
Yeah. And I don't know what I want her to join. Mm. Because I don't know what's gonna have the benefit for her. Yeah. Going back to your question before about, you know, how you allocate your, where would you send your people? Yeah. Would I send her?
Yeah. That's [00:16:00] not, that's not an easy decision or just what I feel like some of these groups are, struggling with, and we can just start kind of talking about it, is that they're cliquey.
Yeah. You know, and I, and I'm sure they don't intend to be, but that's the vibe that gets put out. I think that's something that people have said about a lot of groups for a really long time is that they're cliquey, but in some ways, how can they be anything but like the group that has the same 10 members, 20 members, whatever it is, like they're sure they're clicked, you know, they're friends with each other.
They see each other once a month, mm-hmm. They have each other and they're not necessarily opening, I don't think they're excluding themselves from anyone else coming in. Mm-hmm. They just don't have another opportunity. When I was, um, on the board of WIPA was something that we were really careful about and like really aware of the reputation that we could be cliquey.
So we would do all kinds of things. And to their credit, I think they're still really [00:17:00] good at, um, trying to make sure that people are engaged and introduced and doing icebreakers to try not to be cliquey. But I think that when you get people who are friends mm-hmm. In a room together, sure. It's easy to say that it's cliquey and probably, you know, groups in themselves are like that.
But I think that's honestly kind of nature of groups though too. Yeah. Like, and you're gonna, you're gonna kind of push yourself towards people that you're very comfortable with and you have to put yourself outside of that.
And I do feel like it is. The service or the, um, it is the duty of the board members and these organizations to help people meet other people. It's like, it is, I know some of these are pro for-profit businesses, but most of them are non-profit. Right. Most of them, most of them are non-profit. Profit. But it's definitely their duty to make sure that people are meeting each other, in my opinion, that the sponsors are getting their good return. Like I think, you know, that, that it's on them to make that [00:18:00] happen. And I think like they, you know, some groups take that very seriously and other ones are just hanging out with their friends.
Right. Right. So that's just, if the, if the board isn't taking the active role to make people, make people welcome, then I think that the board is probably also not making the effort into. Bringing in fresh membership either. Sure. These younger, this younger group, they're almost like little fucking micro influencers to me.
Adrienne: Totally. Right. They have way more fucking followers on Instagram than any of these other businesses do, and they're little solopreneurs. Right. So it's like literally some of these groups, in my opinion, should align with them as a brand, would an influencer? Mm-hmm. And be like, Hey, come to my events. Help me out.
Yeah. And I think they would be willing to do it. I really do. But they literally have started this own little event, micro influencer group online on Instagram and these groups need to go and they have to go get them. Yeah.
Like they're not just gonna post Hey, come to my lunch and [00:19:00] learn. And those 10 people are not gonna show up. Right. Like they're gonna have to fucking call them and say, Hey. What can I do to get you to come to my party? That's like what we do in our business with trying to get Yes. It's the exact same thing.
It's like you have to just call 'em up, be like, call 'em up. What can I do to get you to come to my party? Yeah. Right. Do a cool story and do stuff like that. Like they think, like that's what they, you solved the, you solved the problem. I solved it. I hope maybe, okay, so here's another good one for you.
Um, Colorado here. We just wrapped up our award season. Yay. Let's talk about awards. I have two things to say.
Yes. Let's start with that. My first question,. You have two questions. I hope I get some good comments on this. Okay. Riddle me this, Leorah, please tell me how the fuck winning these awards earns you guys any money with clients. Right. So if I am a client and I won book A, B, C, [00:20:00] caterer. Do I really care that you won this award for your event industry chapter?. How does that help my business with the client? Question one.
Okay. Because if I'm a client, to be frank, I don't really give a shit. I would care much more about your Google reviews. I would care much more about your actual client testimonials and actual referrals. I would not care about this, but maybe that's me. So I'll let you go. I'll, and then, and then my second one, I, had some great conversations with people about wards lately.
And why do the same people keep winning? That's it. And their response is, is that less people, not many people apply. So if there's an award and only two people apply, one of those two people are gonna win, obviously. Mm-hmm. So this goes into kind of what we were already talking about, about these groups not having a big pool of different people.
You know, this is, this is my clique, this is my group. So of course that's who's gonna win. Right. And I think. Maybe they do or maybe not. These groups sometimes get a lot of flag thinking that you [00:21:00] know, that these things are quote unquote rigged, right? Yes. And y'all can get mad about that word if you want, but that's what people are saying.
So, but to their point, if no one's applying, who else is gonna win? So again, my two questions are, does this make you any fucking money? Prove me wrong. Number two, is it rigged, I guess is my second question, or is it just lack of,, applications? Those are two huge questions, and I guess I'm some sort of expert, so I'll go ahead and answer them for you.
Yes, please. I think for your first question, no, absolutely not. I can speak for my company, which has a great PR arm to it. An engine working, being nominated for an award was great. PR for us would've been better if we won, but. It was great pr, but I don't think that, at the end of the day, [00:22:00] I agree with you, a customer isn't going to choose you because you won an award that was given to you , by your peers.
You know, I don't, I don't think so. So then why do we have them then? Well, I think that it's really nice to be honored by your peers. Okay. It's a really nice community thing for us to do. So it's peer to peer recognition. It's, that's maybe where I have this wrong. I'm focusing too much on what a customer think.
Yes. Not necessarily about the fact that this is maybe a peer recognizing your awesome event. Yes. Okay. Okay. All right. Keep, keep going. Keep going. Okay. I'm with you. I'm with you. But I'm fully with you in that it does feel really kind of funny to me that an organization is going to have an award.
Ceremony every year with the same four people , it feels like when they gave participation awards to millennials because they lost their soccer game or whatever that was, I don't know.
I don't have kids, but I can, similar to me it's similar, like, good job, you did [00:23:00] something. And the reverse side, because of kind of how these things are set up, it honestly detracts from the cool events.
You know what I mean? So there is some events that are definitely worthy of. Appreciation or like highlighting like, dude, that was cool. You were very creative. Like you did some cool shit. But because I feel like some how these things are configured, it honestly kind of takes from that too, in my opinion. It feels a little forced, right? Sure. Like you do your event and then you have to apply to be nominated for an event. Sure. Have you ever applied for one of these awards?
No, because I told you a PR company, she's so fucking fancy that does it. I mean, we applied not for ourselves, we applied for our client and they like flew out and it really sucked that we didn't win. You know? We felt that it was rigged for sure, because here we were a diverse member of the nominees and it was still the same for people that won that night.
Mm-hmm. But. [00:24:00] That's my opinion about it. Sure, sure. I have done applications for this and it's been a hot minute. I don't know if they're the same, but I won an icon many years ago. Congratulations. Thank you. This was when Icon was old icon for everybody to remember. Yeah, yeah, the big ones. Yeah. And I think one of 'em was like an auto dealership was the one that we won.
Oh yeah. Yeah. Did you remember, did you go to that one? , It was literally an auto dealer. I'm pretty sure it was cool. Yeah, so, and I remember the application form was beastly as shit. You needed all these photos, you needed all this documentation. The applications are massive. I mean, now you got chat, GPT, I'm sure it takes five minutes to put it together now, but back then it took a long time.
I can see kind of again the lack of pool maybe. So I could see how, if it's kind of similar to that, like people are gonna look at an application and be like, nah, I'm good. Yeah. Did you feel like the pool of your nominees was diverse and interesting and then were you proud [00:25:00] to, to win amongst them? Yeah, I think so. I think at that time, um, but again, that was a long time ago,.
Um, I remember, uh, kind of when I started my career, I went to Icon. I was like, oh, these awards are really cool. And I remember a few event planners that I thought were really awesome, won them, and I'm like, oh, oh, I wanna win one.
And I do feel like the year that we won one, it did feel diverse, but I know that we were in four or five categories as nominees and we only won one. Mm-hmm. You know, so that seems nice. That seems fair. It seems, it feels like you earned the award that you got and the one that did win was for the best event that we had that year. If anything's gonna win it, it should be this one. And if it doesn't I'm gonna be pissed. So then, okay, so if we feel like in summary on awards that, number one, they're cliquey, kind of going back to the main problem, the main problem, diversity, diversity of memberships, memberships, of applications are they transparent enough with how [00:26:00] voting works?
And, and judging criteria. Yeah. Like how does that work? I think especially if people are gonna get really invested in these, which I think is what they want. You want to win. Well, I think the difference would be, and, and maybe the organization again, we're, there's few different awards out there that we keep talking about, but. I feel like if it was more of an industry-wide voting mm-hmm.
That would solve for a lot of it. And I think that would really to the point earlier, like then you would feel like your peers awarded you, like recognize you in the work that you do. Sure. And then it was truly your peers who are awarding it. And that's the kind of award that I feel like would , hold some weight.
Yeah. So versus all of these groups having their own little micro awards. You know, if there was a way as a community that we could kind of pull this together. Yeah. Make it a community type voting. [00:27:00] That would be cool. That would be very cool. Um, you know, not to challenge anybody on this, on this, uh, who's listening to take on , a venture, but I'm sure a lot of people would get behind something like that and really make it a celebration of people's hard work. Someone should do that. Somebody named you? No, just kidding.
Okay.
So recently I went to a networking event a few weeks ago. Yeah. , And to your point, yes, I've been in, I've been in a, well, she's gone. I'm gonna call it my, well, I feel like this is gonna have traction for me. Okay. So next time Adrienne references the, well, we know it means the time that she just dropped off the face of the earth for a couple of years.
I was in a well. Okay. Yeah. Got it. There was light and water and food. That's all I need to know. Okay. So I've merged from my, well, I buy some clothes and I go to this networking event. Yes. I was there with you. Yes. You were there with me. Okay. And I, I see somebody that I haven't seen in years. Right. Pre well, [00:28:00] and I had a good relationship with this person.
I knew about their personal wife, um, knew about their significant other, I knew about their pets. You would maybe call 'em a friend. Yes. But I would say a work friend to their point, to like be on their side a little bit before I make this argument. Like I did drop the ball on our relationship too.
So, , I am definitely guilty of that. But anyways, we start saying, hello, okay, hey, what's going on? Da, da, da. And then we go into the normal bullshit , that I can't stand of, what are you up to? Right? And then everybody just starts to list off their current accomplishments.
So this person literally kind of starts going through their resume of what they've been up to since I've seen them, or since I've worked with them last, right? It was cringey, yeah. What the fuck am I doing?
Like, I bought a shirt for this. I know exactly what you're doing. We're connected on LinkedIn., I don't need your fucking resume. Right? Yeah. It's like, I don't know, tell me something else.
So it just kind of brought up like, you know how sometimes at networking we [00:29:00] all ask the same questions, right? It just ends up feeling, forced when someone says, hi, how's your season going?
Vomit. Vomit. How many events do you have?
It's just industry small talk because it's like, how else do you break the ice? How else do you get in? But to your point, it feels really, really disingenuous. Yeah. And you know, with the story of what happened with the person you haven't seen in a while, like again, it feels really, really disingenuous because you think you have a connection with someone.
And again, that's why we're here mm-hmm. Is to make connections with people that are going to establish relationships that are going to feed our career and our positions and our jobs and lead to our next positions. And you can't do that with someone who's just asking you like how your season is off to.
Sure. Because it's so v vanilla, it's just so blah. I was, do you remember, we were at another event the other [00:30:00] day and you and I and someone else, we were actually, we were in a conversation. We were talking about something and someone came up and interrupted, which isn't a big deal because we're at a networking event.
And sometimes you just gotta do that. You gotta do it, you gotta do it. You got it. Good for you. But they just were like, oh, tell me about your space. And it was like, if you've been to my space, you already know these things. And it was under this. Pretense that I'm gonna send you all this business. Yeah. And no, you're not, because you've already come up to me at four other industry events in the last six months.
Mm-hmm. And we've had the same conversation. You've asked me the same questions, and if you told me you're gonna, I'm gonna send you this. I have like a 400 person event and I'm gonna send you this. And now you're pretending me that, pretending that you don't even know the details of my space to be able to sell it when you've tried to sell it before.
And then I kept space on hold for you forever. And you don't need to do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You [00:31:00] don't need to come up to me and tell me you're gonna give me business. You either give me business or you don't. We have a glass of wine. Cheers. Great to see you. When you have the business, send it to me.
Don't posture yourself and pretend. And that's the only reason you have to come up and talk to me at this event. It's again, disingenuous. It's like also, but people struggle to find other things to talk about. I would love to ask somebody like, how's your season? Somebody goes, it fucking sucks it's garbage. That would be great. Because part of me is trying to be like, I'd be like, nice part of me is as judgy as I am about how much I hate when people come up to me in that way. Um, and it feels so fake and so forced.
I have to stop and remember too, that like Adrienne, you and I are. Strong, confident, outgoing people who manage fine and well in these circumstances. And the truth is, for a lot of people [00:32:00] going to these networking events is absolute hell and torture. Scary. Totally scary. And so they need an in and they need that small to Sure.
And asking how my season is going is fair. Yeah. You know? And it is totally okay. So I feel like do need to step back for a second and allow for a little space and a little grace to just give people that. Totally. But then what? Yeah, a hundred percent. I think that there's literally nothing more terrifying in this world than a fucking room full of wedding planners.
The high end ones. The high end ones, they're absolutely terrifying. . They're also beautiful. They're successful, they're dressed so well, right? Like a new wedding planner might 22 years old walks into one of these rooms scared to fucking death.
So scary. , I remember when I started in events, I was terrified of going to these things, to your point, , and I still kind of am, I still get very nervous. , And I have to [00:33:00] push myself to do it so I a hundred percent can understand how people feel about this.
We would love to hear from you, your questions, your comments, what your thoughts are on, on networking and also what your thoughts are on other things you wanna talk about with us. , This is episode one and we're so excited to get started.
So please, please, please remember to like, follow, tell all your friends and send us your thoughts. We wanna talk about what you wanna talk about. Do you wanna say anything else, Adrienne?
Yeah, man. Uh, yeah, man. We obviously appreciate anybody who takes the time to listen to us.
Yeah, so we do have a guest application on our site, so if you're interested in joining us, you can fill that puppy out. Love it. This was great. Thanks for listening with us. Bye-Bye. Bye.
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[00:00:00] it's our first full episode. Here we go. Episode one. Networking, everything you've ever wanted to know about how we really feel about networking, what we dread about it, what we love about it, what we don't know, what to fucking wear about it. I love that part. Fucking style guides. Yes. It's gonna be a fun episode.
We're gonna break down networking. , So don't forget to like, subscribe, follow us, all that good stuff. Let's go.
Entry song. Welcome to, it's Just My Face with Adrienne and Leorah. It's just my face is the after party where event pros get real about the work, the wins, and the what the fuck moments We're gonna be mixing stories, strategies, and yes, some rants, but we're here to help you grow your business, lead your team.
And keep your sanity in this chaotic world we call the event industry. All right. Fellow [00:01:00] old lady. What time do you prefer to do your networking during the day? Three o'clock. Why? Because I get to cut my day short. Oh, sweet. To leave the office.
Leave work. Sweet. Yeah. Skip traffic. Ooh, yes. I'm usually ready for a cocktail or a glass of wine by then. Yep. Um, and then get home in time for tea in bed. Perfect. Like lotus time, white, lotus, righteous gemstones. Whatever's your fancy. Yeah. I'm definitely in bed by eight 30. Um, we all know this really awesome group who plans these really great parties.
Right. Design is killer. There's normally some sort, there's such good parties. There's normally some sort of, uh, surprise element in them too, which everyone looks forward to. Um, but they start at seven. That's too late. Um, I almost went this last week. I, I'm sure it was awesome. I always feel like I miss [00:02:00] out when I don't go.
I, I know I missed out, but. Uh, you know, I, I realized I had every intention of going and, uh, I even ate some extra food before I left the house because I've learned that you can't count on food at these events either. Sure. Which is okay. Yeah. 'cause you know, budgets and all that, totally get it and I'm sure we'll talk more about that later.
Mm-hmm. But I had this realization that I could be in bed at eight 30 or I could wish I was in bed at nine o'clock and, uh, yeah. Bed one. Yeah. That was literally what your text said. Yeah, I know. It was a good one. So I thought I'd do that. Um, I went to the BBJ Open house Yeah. The day before that party. And it was, it started at three.
That's amazing. It was perfect. I got there at three 30. I left it a little bit before five home dinner, it time for dinner, had dinner. I. A real dinner. Actual dinner, put the kid to bed. It was a very [00:03:00] normal type evening. Right. But I wonder if uh, any of our listeners in our twenties think we're super fucking lame though.
I'm sure like they don't care about staying out late. I'm sure that they have no issues about it. Like I have every faith that if we are talking about how late these go, because we are over 40, because I never thought of it much before in my twenties and thirties, man, I was there. And then you went to the after party.
I always went to the after party. The after party was the best part. But I'll tell you that is where I made my best connections with people is like, 'cause that's when things get real. Like that's when you really get to know someone. And those are the connections that like work and are why we're doing this in the first place, aren't they?
Yeah. And some of the memories that you will never forget, even though you're surprised, you actually remember. Yeah, I've probably said some things to people that I shouldn't have one of my favorite memories is the end of season parties we used to throw. Those were great. Yeah. [00:04:00] Those were super fun. And I remember one we had, it was like a seventies theme for those of you guys who went to that. Are memories of 10 people that I can see their faces and they're probably like, oh my God, don't name me and I won't. Those things, they were a blast. They really were.
They were blast. And they did not end at nine. So in the young people's defense, you know, no, it's great. We used to, we used to rage. We did. It's great. Those were the days when you really, I feel like all of us make our great connections. And feel connected in the industry and make a name for ourselves and, put ourselves out there.
Get out, get on the map, if you will. Yeah. 'cause I will say, I'm feeling a little out of it these days because, you know, we are in this next phase of our careers and so part of me hopes that people know who I am. And you know, we're, we're legacy people and we don't have to work so hard at the networking.
But I feel like that's [00:05:00] not true. I don't feel like anybody knows who the fuck we are. They don't anymore. It happened overnight, but it, I think it also happened because they stopped showing up. Yeah. No, I think it's our fault. Are you really? Are you really there? Yeah. Like, are you still there? I mean, you legit disappeared.
I wasn't a, well, I was like Timmy's stuck in a fucking well for a few years. Okay. Yeah. So Adrienne definitely disappeared. I never fully did. Yeah. Yeah. But you were gone. I was gone. Gone. And then you came back kinda. And so you've been at a couple networking things. Yeah, I've been at a couple ones recently and we'll talk about 'em a little bit more.
I think my first rant would be that, um, you took me to WIPA. Yeah. I was scared. Yeah, you were. Um, I was scared, but you were like, let's go. And I was like, okay, let's go., And everyone was very welcoming, very nice. , Good. Saw some people, made some new friends, saw people I didn't know before. It was good. I put myself out there, which I hadn't done in a long time.
So that felt good. But it was so fucking loud, Clara. Oh my god. It was [00:06:00] so loud. I remember growing up, my dad, he still, to this day, he'll make reservations about, he'll make his decisions about reservations based on how loud it's going to be. Totally. And I have always made fun of him for it. Now you are him.
Now it's totally different. I mean, thank God at that whip event, they had earplugs, whoever that planner was that was walking around with 'em, you were a fucking angel. Angel sent from heaven. And I hope you listen to us and you know what a magical being you truly are.
Even during dinner though, like I had two people to the sides to me and were like kind of all having a conversation. And then I found 'em, they were like shouting over me. They were like shouting at my boobs as they were trying to talk to one another. It's a good image. As, as I'm using my hands, they was watching me like with these two heads going towards my chest of these two very nice women having a conversation, basically on top of me.
Well, because you know, the one on the one side and the one on the other side is going What? Yeah. What? Huh? What'd she say? I didn't [00:07:00] hear. Yeah. And it, it's, and to like these performers. To, not to their fault. We've all spent the better part of our careers next to loud music, right?
Yeah. Like, you know, we're in ballrooms, the sound echoes, it's loud as shit, the MCs like, it's loud, right? We work in loud environments, so it's no surprise that our hearing fucking sucks. I think that goes into like if I'm, if I'm supposed to be networking at these things, like is that what I'm supposed to be doing?
Or am I supposed to be just getting, getting drunk and dancing? Like, what do you guys want me to do here? Well, right. There's been like an interesting shift I think a little bit, um, with the types of events that we're having and we're going to, to network. Is it networking or is it a party? Because of course like the bands are gonna play loud because this is our opportunity to showcase themselves and do their things and yeah, we plan parties all day long and this is our opportunity to get down and, and boogie.
Mm-hmm. You know? Sure. But [00:08:00] if we're supposed to be networking at the same time, it's hard to do. It's hard to do that. However, I've always said since, you know, a lot of you know that I was on the board of WIPA and I've involved with that organization for a really long time, and it's near and dear to my heart.
Um, and we'd say like, I make my best connections and relationships with people, you know, half drunk out on the dance floor. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Because it's real. Sure. So there's, there's truth to that, but it's hard to really get to know people. Sure. So I think there's a little, I feel like really what we're missing is a good mix of the type of networking events that are available to us right now.
Sure. Are we going to party, which is hard for us old people, or are we going to network? Which is good for everybody. Sure. Or are we going to learn something? Yes. Right. Like, I know some groups, you know, they do like, you know, the educations or the lunch and learns. And some of that content can be [00:09:00] good and some of it, can be shit.
I think we've all had those experiences and that's hard. I think to the people that put those things on, it's hard because like everybody's skills and knowledges in those rooms can be very diverse. Right. So it's like, for you and me, we go to a sales one. Somebody might get a lot out of it and we might be like, oh, it's trash.
So I think to those organizations, that's a hard thing to do is to have a diverse offering . but it's also entertaining, right? 'cause you've gotta, people have to want to go, right?
, If you're just like, Hey, come have a sandwich and let me show you how to have a better sales process. Like, that sounds boring as fuck. Like no one's gonna want to go, right. Right.
You brought up like being on the dance floor and making a lot of connections. So if I am a manager of a company, right, and let's say I pay for memberships for three of my salespeople. To go to these things. I'm gonna speak in math a few times. Yes. Right. So let's say, I, and I did total this up.
So let's say [00:10:00] if I paid for them their memberships for nace and they went to some wipa, maybe they just kind of did some stuff here and there. Maybe they went to N-P-M-P-I, maybe they went to the Venue Hub conference. You know, I'm trying to get my, my team out there, right? So I'm looking at spending, about $5,000 per person.
That's a lot. So if I have three of them, I'm spending 15 grand on these things. Not even talking about if I sponsor any events, I'm just talking about just memberships and paying for the events and the parties. Right? So since you were on the dance floor, Leorah, Yeah. Like have you made genuine connections that have, have led to a financial response Yes.
From your dance floor? I, I can, I can answer vaguely yes. If you ask me to put like what my ROI dollar figure is, I cannot tell you. I do, it's impossible to track. But I would say that my time invested in an organization, again, I can use WIPA as my example. I made [00:11:00] the strongest connections with vendor partners there to the point where if anyone ever asked me for any recommendation at all, it was always and only a fellow WEBPA member.
And I know that I was included in that in return. So. I think that it is possible, but I think that we have to be smart about your expectations. Mm-hmm. Again, it's better to be out there mm-hmm. And continue to show face so that you're recognizable and you always come to mind. That's why Sure. It's hard that we haven't been around as much, you know?
Totally. Yeah. When we're complaining that we've fallen off the map and not everyone knows who we are anymore, like, you can see that, you can see the, the result of that really easily, but I think it also comes with the level of involvement that you choose to make with an organization. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. You know, sitting on a board of an organization is going to [00:12:00] reap way more benefit and long-term relationships.
Mm-hmm. Um, maybe once you graduate from going to all the after parties and actually, you know, like doing the, doing the work, start doing some work. Mm-hmm. Start doing some work. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And you make a good point not to dis not to discount the value of just pr Right. And, you know, just marketing and that, there's no way to ever really correlate a direct return on some of that kind of stuff.
Sometimes it's like, no, I met somebody at this networking thing. They literally called me the next day and I got a booking. Yeah. Amazing. And that does happen. It's literally happened to me. You're like, holy shit, this actually works,
okay, so I went to one event, um, I don't know, like probably a month ago.
And it's, it's the same people that were there when I went to this organization before you dropped off the face of the earth seven years ago. Even before my drop off, which my, oh, yeah, yeah. Way before my drop off. That's a long time ago. Yeah. So I'm just saying that group [00:13:00] who I really like, I like and I like those people that are there.
To me, I'm very concerned about their longevity. ' There has to be 20 year olds in the room. There can't just be 40 and 50 year olds. It's the same. Same. I know, I know which group you're talking about. Love you guys, but love you. But like, don't go to your events anymore because it's the same group of 25, 30 people who have just continued to be there and like, how do you get new blood in the room?
Because there's so many cool people that are coming up in the industry. Sure. That I'm just, you know, I see a lot of them at the WIPA events. Sure. But where are they? Where are they going? I was on a call the other day, um, with Visit Denver and they had an in-person meeting and a virtual meeting. I was on the phone virtually and there were like 25 event.
Entrepreneurs companies represented at this visit [00:14:00] Denver meeting who I had never heard of before. Awesome. And they all seemed really awesome. And they weren't just like planners and photographers and some were venues. Um, but they're doing different shit. But they're doing different shit and they seem so awesome.
Yeah. And they're part of our community. But when we go to these community networking events, like where are they? Sure. Where are they going? Yeah. Are they just going to visit Denver? 'cause we don't go to visit Denver Star. Apparently I have to go to visit Denver. Um, is it this like weird chasm between corporate world and wedding world?
Like May Yeah. What, what is it? Where are the up and coming. Photographers. Yeah. Where are the up and coming planners? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Going, but I get inquiries all the time from new planners that I've never heard of before. Sure. And I, I'll be honest, like sometimes I discount them because I don't know who they are and that is not fair.
Sure. Just because we're not going in the same circle. So my [00:15:00] question is, what other, are we not aware of a whole other networking web that we're just not involved in, in this industry, in this city? What's going on? Maybe because like the five that I'm thinking of certainly don't have this group of people that you're talking about.
Yeah. So I mean maybe, and maybe they just choose to interact in other ways, right? They, you know, they're on social, they're very active in those ways, and maybe they're just kind of connecting in other ways, or maybe they're just fucking grinding. And they don't give a shit about what other people are doing.
So there's a lot of power in that too. Not saying that the connections aren't important, but maybe they're just like, I'm just over here working and I'm just, you know, I'll figure that other shit out later. . I don't know. I have a younger, um, seller who works under me and I've been trying to think about organizations that I want her to join.
Yeah. And I don't know what I want her to join. Mm. Because I don't know what's gonna have the benefit for her. Yeah. Going back to your question before about, you know, how you allocate your, where would you send your people? Yeah. Would I send her?
Yeah. That's [00:16:00] not, that's not an easy decision or just what I feel like some of these groups are, struggling with, and we can just start kind of talking about it, is that they're cliquey.
Yeah. You know, and I, and I'm sure they don't intend to be, but that's the vibe that gets put out. I think that's something that people have said about a lot of groups for a really long time is that they're cliquey, but in some ways, how can they be anything but like the group that has the same 10 members, 20 members, whatever it is, like they're sure they're clicked, you know, they're friends with each other.
They see each other once a month, mm-hmm. They have each other and they're not necessarily opening, I don't think they're excluding themselves from anyone else coming in. Mm-hmm. They just don't have another opportunity. When I was, um, on the board of WIPA was something that we were really careful about and like really aware of the reputation that we could be cliquey.
So we would do all kinds of things. And to their credit, I think they're still really [00:17:00] good at, um, trying to make sure that people are engaged and introduced and doing icebreakers to try not to be cliquey. But I think that when you get people who are friends mm-hmm. In a room together, sure. It's easy to say that it's cliquey and probably, you know, groups in themselves are like that.
But I think that's honestly kind of nature of groups though too. Yeah. Like, and you're gonna, you're gonna kind of push yourself towards people that you're very comfortable with and you have to put yourself outside of that.
And I do feel like it is. The service or the, um, it is the duty of the board members and these organizations to help people meet other people. It's like, it is, I know some of these are pro for-profit businesses, but most of them are non-profit. Right. Most of them, most of them are non-profit. Profit. But it's definitely their duty to make sure that people are meeting each other, in my opinion, that the sponsors are getting their good return. Like I think, you know, that, that it's on them to make that [00:18:00] happen. And I think like they, you know, some groups take that very seriously and other ones are just hanging out with their friends.
Right. Right. So that's just, if the, if the board isn't taking the active role to make people, make people welcome, then I think that the board is probably also not making the effort into. Bringing in fresh membership either. Sure. These younger, this younger group, they're almost like little fucking micro influencers to me.
Adrienne: Totally. Right. They have way more fucking followers on Instagram than any of these other businesses do, and they're little solopreneurs. Right. So it's like literally some of these groups, in my opinion, should align with them as a brand, would an influencer? Mm-hmm. And be like, Hey, come to my events. Help me out.
Yeah. And I think they would be willing to do it. I really do. But they literally have started this own little event, micro influencer group online on Instagram and these groups need to go and they have to go get them. Yeah.
Like they're not just gonna post Hey, come to my lunch and [00:19:00] learn. And those 10 people are not gonna show up. Right. Like they're gonna have to fucking call them and say, Hey. What can I do to get you to come to my party? That's like what we do in our business with trying to get Yes. It's the exact same thing.
It's like you have to just call 'em up, be like, call 'em up. What can I do to get you to come to my party? Yeah. Right. Do a cool story and do stuff like that. Like they think, like that's what they, you solved the, you solved the problem. I solved it. I hope maybe, okay, so here's another good one for you.
Um, Colorado here. We just wrapped up our award season. Yay. Let's talk about awards. I have two things to say.
Yes. Let's start with that. My first question,. You have two questions. I hope I get some good comments on this. Okay. Riddle me this, Leorah, please tell me how the fuck winning these awards earns you guys any money with clients. Right. So if I am a client and I won book A, B, C, [00:20:00] caterer. Do I really care that you won this award for your event industry chapter?. How does that help my business with the client? Question one.
Okay. Because if I'm a client, to be frank, I don't really give a shit. I would care much more about your Google reviews. I would care much more about your actual client testimonials and actual referrals. I would not care about this, but maybe that's me. So I'll let you go. I'll, and then, and then my second one, I, had some great conversations with people about wards lately.
And why do the same people keep winning? That's it. And their response is, is that less people, not many people apply. So if there's an award and only two people apply, one of those two people are gonna win, obviously. Mm-hmm. So this goes into kind of what we were already talking about, about these groups not having a big pool of different people.
You know, this is, this is my clique, this is my group. So of course that's who's gonna win. Right. And I think. Maybe they do or maybe not. These groups sometimes get a lot of flag thinking that you [00:21:00] know, that these things are quote unquote rigged, right? Yes. And y'all can get mad about that word if you want, but that's what people are saying.
So, but to their point, if no one's applying, who else is gonna win? So again, my two questions are, does this make you any fucking money? Prove me wrong. Number two, is it rigged, I guess is my second question, or is it just lack of,, applications? Those are two huge questions, and I guess I'm some sort of expert, so I'll go ahead and answer them for you.
Yes, please. I think for your first question, no, absolutely not. I can speak for my company, which has a great PR arm to it. An engine working, being nominated for an award was great. PR for us would've been better if we won, but. It was great pr, but I don't think that, at the end of the day, [00:22:00] I agree with you, a customer isn't going to choose you because you won an award that was given to you , by your peers.
You know, I don't, I don't think so. So then why do we have them then? Well, I think that it's really nice to be honored by your peers. Okay. It's a really nice community thing for us to do. So it's peer to peer recognition. It's, that's maybe where I have this wrong. I'm focusing too much on what a customer think.
Yes. Not necessarily about the fact that this is maybe a peer recognizing your awesome event. Yes. Okay. Okay. All right. Keep, keep going. Keep going. Okay. I'm with you. I'm with you. But I'm fully with you in that it does feel really kind of funny to me that an organization is going to have an award.
Ceremony every year with the same four people , it feels like when they gave participation awards to millennials because they lost their soccer game or whatever that was, I don't know.
I don't have kids, but I can, similar to me it's similar, like, good job, you did [00:23:00] something. And the reverse side, because of kind of how these things are set up, it honestly detracts from the cool events.
You know what I mean? So there is some events that are definitely worthy of. Appreciation or like highlighting like, dude, that was cool. You were very creative. Like you did some cool shit. But because I feel like some how these things are configured, it honestly kind of takes from that too, in my opinion. It feels a little forced, right? Sure. Like you do your event and then you have to apply to be nominated for an event. Sure. Have you ever applied for one of these awards?
No, because I told you a PR company, she's so fucking fancy that does it. I mean, we applied not for ourselves, we applied for our client and they like flew out and it really sucked that we didn't win. You know? We felt that it was rigged for sure, because here we were a diverse member of the nominees and it was still the same for people that won that night.
Mm-hmm. But. [00:24:00] That's my opinion about it. Sure, sure. I have done applications for this and it's been a hot minute. I don't know if they're the same, but I won an icon many years ago. Congratulations. Thank you. This was when Icon was old icon for everybody to remember. Yeah, yeah, the big ones. Yeah. And I think one of 'em was like an auto dealership was the one that we won.
Oh yeah. Yeah. Did you remember, did you go to that one? , It was literally an auto dealer. I'm pretty sure it was cool. Yeah, so, and I remember the application form was beastly as shit. You needed all these photos, you needed all this documentation. The applications are massive. I mean, now you got chat, GPT, I'm sure it takes five minutes to put it together now, but back then it took a long time.
I can see kind of again the lack of pool maybe. So I could see how, if it's kind of similar to that, like people are gonna look at an application and be like, nah, I'm good. Yeah. Did you feel like the pool of your nominees was diverse and interesting and then were you proud [00:25:00] to, to win amongst them? Yeah, I think so. I think at that time, um, but again, that was a long time ago,.
Um, I remember, uh, kind of when I started my career, I went to Icon. I was like, oh, these awards are really cool. And I remember a few event planners that I thought were really awesome, won them, and I'm like, oh, oh, I wanna win one.
And I do feel like the year that we won one, it did feel diverse, but I know that we were in four or five categories as nominees and we only won one. Mm-hmm. You know, so that seems nice. That seems fair. It seems, it feels like you earned the award that you got and the one that did win was for the best event that we had that year. If anything's gonna win it, it should be this one. And if it doesn't I'm gonna be pissed. So then, okay, so if we feel like in summary on awards that, number one, they're cliquey, kind of going back to the main problem, the main problem, diversity, diversity of memberships, memberships, of applications are they transparent enough with how [00:26:00] voting works?
And, and judging criteria. Yeah. Like how does that work? I think especially if people are gonna get really invested in these, which I think is what they want. You want to win. Well, I think the difference would be, and, and maybe the organization again, we're, there's few different awards out there that we keep talking about, but. I feel like if it was more of an industry-wide voting mm-hmm.
That would solve for a lot of it. And I think that would really to the point earlier, like then you would feel like your peers awarded you, like recognize you in the work that you do. Sure. And then it was truly your peers who are awarding it. And that's the kind of award that I feel like would , hold some weight.
Yeah. So versus all of these groups having their own little micro awards. You know, if there was a way as a community that we could kind of pull this together. Yeah. Make it a community type voting. [00:27:00] That would be cool. That would be very cool. Um, you know, not to challenge anybody on this, on this, uh, who's listening to take on , a venture, but I'm sure a lot of people would get behind something like that and really make it a celebration of people's hard work. Someone should do that. Somebody named you? No, just kidding.
Okay.
So recently I went to a networking event a few weeks ago. Yeah. , And to your point, yes, I've been in, I've been in a, well, she's gone. I'm gonna call it my, well, I feel like this is gonna have traction for me. Okay. So next time Adrienne references the, well, we know it means the time that she just dropped off the face of the earth for a couple of years.
I was in a well. Okay. Yeah. Got it. There was light and water and food. That's all I need to know. Okay. So I've merged from my, well, I buy some clothes and I go to this networking event. Yes. I was there with you. Yes. You were there with me. Okay. And I, I see somebody that I haven't seen in years. Right. Pre well, [00:28:00] and I had a good relationship with this person.
I knew about their personal wife, um, knew about their significant other, I knew about their pets. You would maybe call 'em a friend. Yes. But I would say a work friend to their point, to like be on their side a little bit before I make this argument. Like I did drop the ball on our relationship too.
So, , I am definitely guilty of that. But anyways, we start saying, hello, okay, hey, what's going on? Da, da, da. And then we go into the normal bullshit , that I can't stand of, what are you up to? Right? And then everybody just starts to list off their current accomplishments.
So this person literally kind of starts going through their resume of what they've been up to since I've seen them, or since I've worked with them last, right? It was cringey, yeah. What the fuck am I doing?
Like, I bought a shirt for this. I know exactly what you're doing. We're connected on LinkedIn., I don't need your fucking resume. Right? Yeah. It's like, I don't know, tell me something else.
So it just kind of brought up like, you know how sometimes at networking we [00:29:00] all ask the same questions, right? It just ends up feeling, forced when someone says, hi, how's your season going?
Vomit. Vomit. How many events do you have?
It's just industry small talk because it's like, how else do you break the ice? How else do you get in? But to your point, it feels really, really disingenuous. Yeah. And you know, with the story of what happened with the person you haven't seen in a while, like again, it feels really, really disingenuous because you think you have a connection with someone.
And again, that's why we're here mm-hmm. Is to make connections with people that are going to establish relationships that are going to feed our career and our positions and our jobs and lead to our next positions. And you can't do that with someone who's just asking you like how your season is off to.
Sure. Because it's so v vanilla, it's just so blah. I was, do you remember, we were at another event the other [00:30:00] day and you and I and someone else, we were actually, we were in a conversation. We were talking about something and someone came up and interrupted, which isn't a big deal because we're at a networking event.
And sometimes you just gotta do that. You gotta do it, you gotta do it. You got it. Good for you. But they just were like, oh, tell me about your space. And it was like, if you've been to my space, you already know these things. And it was under this. Pretense that I'm gonna send you all this business. Yeah. And no, you're not, because you've already come up to me at four other industry events in the last six months.
Mm-hmm. And we've had the same conversation. You've asked me the same questions, and if you told me you're gonna, I'm gonna send you this. I have like a 400 person event and I'm gonna send you this. And now you're pretending me that, pretending that you don't even know the details of my space to be able to sell it when you've tried to sell it before.
And then I kept space on hold for you forever. And you don't need to do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You [00:31:00] don't need to come up to me and tell me you're gonna give me business. You either give me business or you don't. We have a glass of wine. Cheers. Great to see you. When you have the business, send it to me.
Don't posture yourself and pretend. And that's the only reason you have to come up and talk to me at this event. It's again, disingenuous. It's like also, but people struggle to find other things to talk about. I would love to ask somebody like, how's your season? Somebody goes, it fucking sucks it's garbage. That would be great. Because part of me is trying to be like, I'd be like, nice part of me is as judgy as I am about how much I hate when people come up to me in that way. Um, and it feels so fake and so forced.
I have to stop and remember too, that like Adrienne, you and I are. Strong, confident, outgoing people who manage fine and well in these circumstances. And the truth is, for a lot of people [00:32:00] going to these networking events is absolute hell and torture. Scary. Totally scary. And so they need an in and they need that small to Sure.
And asking how my season is going is fair. Yeah. You know? And it is totally okay. So I feel like do need to step back for a second and allow for a little space and a little grace to just give people that. Totally. But then what? Yeah, a hundred percent. I think that there's literally nothing more terrifying in this world than a fucking room full of wedding planners.
The high end ones. The high end ones, they're absolutely terrifying. . They're also beautiful. They're successful, they're dressed so well, right? Like a new wedding planner might 22 years old walks into one of these rooms scared to fucking death.
So scary. , I remember when I started in events, I was terrified of going to these things, to your point, , and I still kind of am, I still get very nervous. , And I have to [00:33:00] push myself to do it so I a hundred percent can understand how people feel about this.
We would love to hear from you, your questions, your comments, what your thoughts are on, on networking and also what your thoughts are on other things you wanna talk about with us. , This is episode one and we're so excited to get started.
So please, please, please remember to like, follow, tell all your friends and send us your thoughts. We wanna talk about what you wanna talk about. Do you wanna say anything else, Adrienne?
Yeah, man. Uh, yeah, man. We obviously appreciate anybody who takes the time to listen to us.
Yeah, so we do have a guest application on our site, so if you're interested in joining us, you can fill that puppy out. Love it. This was great. Thanks for listening with us. Bye-Bye. Bye.
