Episode 4: The Event Brain

Episode 4: The Event Brain
[00:00:00] All right. Leorah, big question. Mm-hmm. Are you controlling?
Yes. Don't you agree? Yes. Yes. I'm controlling and I know it, but , I'm not a micromanager. Congratulations. I hate micromanaging. And I think I'm a good delegator. , So if I ask you to do something, I expect it to get done the right way and I don't wanna ask twice. Perfect. Does that mean?
No, it's exactly what we need to hear because we are talking today about the event brain and the personality traits we all share. Some myths around who we are and how we act and the truths behind them. Well, before we move on, uhoh, are you controlling Adrian? I would like to say I try not to be. How about that?
I think I can [00:01:00] be, yeah, like some, some people, but, um, like most people, but. I think that I want the people I work with and my teams and the vendors that I work with to be empowered to do their jobs and do them well. Amen. And, uh, that always makes my day a lot easier when they do. Yeah. , So it's in my best interest to, not be controlling.
Yeah. How about that? That's good. Yeah. I wish I had that. Well, let's, let's get into it, shall we? Let's get into it. Episode four. Here we go.
Entry song Do, do. Welcome to, it's just My Face with Adrienne and Leorah. It's just my face is the after party where event pros get real about the work, the wins, and the what the fuck moments We're gonna be mixing stories, strategies, and yes, some rants. But we're here to help you grow your business, lead your team, and keep your sanity in this chaotic world we call the event industry.
Leora. If you were not an event pro, what would you be doing? It's an interesting [00:02:00] question. Obviously I've thought about it a lot back when I was younger, still in like the restaurant world before events. , I really thought that I should. Go back to school to become a psychologist because I was fascinated by human behavior and I felt that my experiences on the floor at work just kept showing me all these really interesting examples that I wanted to dive into.
Like in the workplace, right? Like how teams depend on each other or not, or throw each other under the bus. 'cause restaurants are a tough place. Yeah. And then the fucking crazy customers, man. Sure. Like how people behave. And I was like, man, it would be fascinating. I'm fascinated by this. So I thought I would go back to school to be a psychologist, decided not to do that, got my MBA instead.
Mm-hmm. But then in more recent times, about five years ago, I was dead set on going to law school. I was like, I should have been a lawyer for everything about being a lawyer just makes sense to me. I am [00:03:00] argumentative and I'm thoughtful and I'm interested in things.
And it was coming right out of c where I had a number of couples who in October of 2020 just refused to. Abide by what the regulations were and they were being really challenging and I felt like they were forcing me to break the laws, which I didn't wanna do because I didn't wanna put our businesses at risk.
Mm-hmm. And they just wouldn't change their date or change their expectations, and it somehow became my problem. Meanwhile, the world was on fire in 2020 and I was like, fuck this. This is so non-important. I don't care if you can dance at your wedding. Mm-hmm. I'm gonna go back to law school for like civil and human rights.
'cause that just seems way better. So I studied for the lsat, and I think knew in the back of my head that I wouldn't go back to law school at 40. Um, but I was glad I tried. Yeah. So, yeah. Two answers. Two answers. What about you? so [00:04:00] my, I went to school for legal studies and criminal justice. Mm-hmm. Um, I actually thought I would be a lawyer as well.
Huh. But I think like a lot of young people, I went into a career path, not with passion, but with other motivations. Yeah. I was good at it. Um, I didn't have to study that hard to be good at it. Yeah. I could party hard and then be good at it, and. it was gonna make me a good amount of money. It would, make my parents happy.
Mm-hmm. So all of these things, right? But then, at the same time, I was also planning events throughout college for my sorority on campus. I had a lot of fun doing that. So I actually took my lsat, I was preparing to go to law school. I was looking at financial aid options and I was like, do I really wanna fucking pay a quarter of million dollars to do shit that I don't want to do?
Yeah. And the answer was absolutely not. Yeah. So call up my parents, break their hearts, tell them I'm going to go work for a nonprofit doing events. Yeah. like good parents, they were very [00:05:00] quiet. They just said, okay, honey, with them, great. So you're gonna still need our money. Yeah.
So what I find interesting is the parallel between being a lawyer and being an event pro. Yeah. Right. And uh, you were also in theater, were you not? I was. So, you know, speaking of just starting your career like, or going off to college and thinking that this is your path, that was my path. I went to theater school and I was a theater major and a film major, and I was like, well, I don't know what else I would do.
I like this, so that's what I'm gonna do. Mm-hmm. And that fell apart. A few years after I graduated, but it's amazing 'cause I look around at our event community all the time and like, oh, theater kid. Theater kid. Mm-hmm. Theater kid. We're all theater kids.
Totally. Me too. Yeah, me too. Oh yeah. So I actually went to the University of Central Florida originally to be in their film program. Oh yeah? Yes. So I went from film to law. Yeah. To event. Yeah. And I was a theater kid. I was a dancer. Yeah. Like many of our peers. All of us. All of us. So it's like all of these things have in common, a [00:06:00] few key things.
So we're talking about traits today. Mm-hmm. We're talking about personality types. We're talking about, these three things have in common, wanting to be the center of attention, wanting to be on stage, wanting me to be a performer who, what? No, I don't crave that. I don't need. I don't need that.
Wait, is this, this is not my therapy session. Oh, right. Um, that's later. But all those things have that in common. Right. Well, and no wonder we're all friends. Mm-hmm. Like, no wonder you and I are friends. Mm-hmm. Knowing all that about each other. Yeah. It makes sense. So many of the rest of us, like of course we've bonded in this way.
Of course we did. Because we struggle with the same things. Yes. And we come from the same place and have the same motivations. Absolutely. So let's continue on this path of talking about these traits. Okay. We've already found one in common, right? Wanting to put be, be the center of attention. Love that.
Wanting people to know that you're in charge or you're running the show. Yeah. Whether that's on stage in a courtroom or at [00:07:00] an event. Mm-hmm. Right? It's all the same. All the same. It's life is a, life is a stage. So in preparing for this episode, I did something kind of fun. I went on chat, GBT course you did.
I was asking it to give me some stereotypical, traits, God of event people. Okay. Um, and it had some good ones in here. and so we're gonna chat about a few of 'em here and I'd love to get your take on some of these. Okay . awesome. Okay. I'm a little scared to hear what the robot said. Okay. So first of all, the robot thinks we're all a bunch of hard asses. Uh, , so meaning we're tough to work with. , We have very high standards of execution, we're just not easy to work with. How do you feel about that statement?
I mean, we aren't on video yet for our podcast, but if you could see my face, um, I can relate personally to that. I've definitely been, um, opinionated and I like things done a certain way. Sure. And I hold myself and [00:08:00] everyone around me to a very high standard. Yeah. Yeah, and I won't budge on that. Yeah.
I think that, you know, so much of what we do is on display all the time. Right. Instagram, like they're on people's walls in their homes. Yeah. So I think in our defense, and I'm gonna come to our defense a few times, okay. I think in this discussion today, that we have to have a very high standard of execution.
Because our jobs, our careers, our referrals kind of depend on it. If we don't have that, well, yeah, and even more than that, I would say. , For me, I came into the event world from hospitality, and at the end of the day, we are in hospitality, and so I owe it to my clients. I owe it to the people that we are providing these experiences to, to give them the best, highest level of experience possible, which means a lot of self-sacrifice.
And, and excellence. Mm-hmm. [00:09:00] And it just does. So, you know, I joke that I am a perfectionist to a fault, but I feel like being in hospitality and having to be perfect for the client mm-hmm. To make sure that they are getting what they pay for and what they expect is just part of it. Yeah. And you said the word perfectionist and that's a good transition into the next one that the robot gave us was , , detail obsessed Type A.
So like, you know, our schedules are blueprinted to a T. We're not really the weighing it type. , Which I'm gonna kind of combat that one a little bit 'cause I feel like I sometimes like to wing it a little bit as a coordinator. , And I think we need to always plan for a little bit of winging it.
I agree with that. But at the same time. I've been in a trap where I've winged it too far. So meaning like maybe I've slacked on my prep or this or that, and then something goes awry. Yeah. Because I wasn't super detailed in my prep. Yeah. So again, it's like something kind of that we like need to do.
, I don't think it's necessarily that we want [00:10:00] to have a 22 page checklist of all these things, but if we don't, like what happens if we don't? Yeah, I mean, I think that certain planners are more detail oriented than others. Like some have just a different style. but I think generally speaking, no one is gonna walk in without a plan.
Sure. And I think to your point, it's good to have the space to be prepared for when things go wrong, because having too detailed of a plan can get you into trouble. When things go bad. Sure. Totally. 'cause you can't pivot. Yeah. What else does a robot say?
The robot says we're judgy. Oh, for sure. , That we judge, , things based on their aesthetic, , that can lead to, talking some shit was basically what it said. And no too few points. I am the judt person ever, so are you. That's why we're friends and it's fun. And I think, I mean, like the downside that I talk to, you know, my therapist about is that I'm so judgy to other people.
I'm probably equally and [00:11:00] toxically judgmental of myself. Mm. But that again, is a different topic for a different situation. Maybe not today. Maybe not today. Um, but, if we're not constantly judging what's going on around us, then how observant are we to what's around us and Totally how reactive are we?
And we're not hurting anybody. I think a level of judgment, I mean, everyone's gonna have it, but It can honestly help us sometimes, right? Yeah. Like you can spot a red flag, you can spot a shitty client. You can spot maybe a super green vendor that maybe needs a little bit of help.
Yeah. Not saying they suck, but maybe they just need like a little bit of extra timeline review. Or they need a little handholding. Yeah. Like you can see it because you're maybe judging the situation. Um, but just like all personality traits, there's good and there's bad to that, right? Right. But
, You might be judging a new vendor and then not giving them an opportunity, . Because you Yeah. You don't wanna dismiss people Sure. Based on [00:12:00] your initial judgements. But that doesn't mean that you can't just turn to your friend and talk about it. Sure. Like, you know, I can't talk shit.
Like, get their opinion about your ugly decor that you picked out. I mean, it's not my fault that it's ugly, it doesn't mean I'm not gonna talk about it. Uh, you kind of brought this up already, was the, , the people watching Oh. Aspects at an event, right. And how, you know, kind of playing it back and some of these listeners, one of my favorite things to do with you guys is to hang out.
And watch people on the dance floor. Oh my God. And I mean, I'm sure our, I know our faces are unbelievably transparent with what's going on, right? Yeah. Because obviously our, because we don't have the, our guests are drunk. We're not drunk, we're tired as shit. Like we honestly want you to leave. But we're gonna hang out here and we're gonna walk to do dance, and we're gonna talk a little shit about what's happening in front of us.
Oh yeah, totally. But I have to say, that's one of my favorite parts. That's the entertainment that we deserve [00:13:00] for working the event, right? Like it's our gift. I remember years ago I was at a fundraiser at the zoo. I don't think they have it anymore, so I think it's fine. It's called Do at the Zoo and it was like a taste around.
Yeah, I've been to that. Yeah, that was fun. And I was there with a friend and for work, 'cause they had tasting tables and we were watching all these women come into this event. And I don't know if it was because it was at the zoo. I mean there definitely wasn't like a style guide that went out. For this event, because this was before that and not the crowd, but every woman was wearing like some sort of animal print.
Yes. Amazing. Like down to a scrunchie. Oh wow. It's like for what purpose? I don't understand that. They thought that because they're going to the zoo, they needed to wear animal print. Sure. It was ridiculous. And you remember that, right? Oh, I remember that.
Well, this was also in the early days of Instagram and we thought that maybe we would start an account [00:14:00] going to our events and secretly photographing people who were dressed bad. Like the people from Walmart. Yeah. But we figured people would figure out who we were. So I, it wasn't a good idea. So you gotta just do it verbally.
So one of my favorite things to do with, uh, a few vendors that I think listened to this. Hopefully, hopefully you guys listen to us was during like the pre ceremony right? We would literally kind of huddle up and be like, okay, of this group of guests, whose ass are we gonna see?
Yeah. Whose dress is so short? Yeah. That odds are you're gonna see something. To go back to that trait of a little bit of judgment. You know, a little bit of, jumping to conclusions, which is our next one of, one of the ones the robot gave us, was that we tend to jump to conclusions, kind of flowing from the judgy that things are gonna be worse than they are.
Oh yeah. Like we tend to overdramatize situations. Right. I think that's total bullshit. I'm totally joking. I think that's very accurate. I have an event on Sunday and [00:15:00] I've already catastrophized it in my head of how bad it's gonna be. ' cause it's gonna rain. Because it's gonna rain. There's so much decor, like I'm just like, oh my God, why did I do this?
It's gonna be awful. Yeah. Like I've already, I've already jumped to that conclusion. In some ways it's kind of like allowing for some wiggle room in your timeline, right? Like is it not a safe bet to be like. This may not be perfect and I'm allowing for that. And it's a little bit of that hope for the best, expect the worst situation.
Like you're gonna be prepared for shit to go wrong. Yeah. Now hopefully you're not manifesting it into being a terrible event, I'll let you know, but you're at least, you know, you're prepared. It's, it's fair preparation from the wisdom of doing what you're doing. That's fair. But I see that. But you know, even if it is a bad event mm-hmm. Like at least you know you're gonna be with good people, right? Yeah. Like when you were talking about being judgy earlier, I was thinking, oh, like how many times do we sit and before the wedding, or even during the wedding and we look at the couple and we're [00:16:00] like, I give 'em.
A year I give up six months. Fuck. Right. Like we facts, we definitely are taking bets on how long, how well it's gonna go. , And we know that we're in a safe space. That's the thing with being judgmental too, right? Yeah. Like we know we're in a safe space to voice these opinions. Because we go through it with people.
And we know that like my best friends. In my life are all friends that I've been in the event industry with trauma friends, trauma bonded trauma bonded friendship. Right. Yeah. And I would say, you know, I've all, I've formed friendships from these judging scenarios, but I've also formed really good trauma friendships just from like a stressful day.
Yeah. Where maybe I needed extra help and people were willing to give it, , or I was super emotional. I had , personal things going on with my life and I had to put on this brave face for this wedding and it sucked. And like people knew that I was having a tough time. Yeah. And they, [00:17:00] saw that and they recognized it 'cause they've been there too.
Yeah. , Sometimes you get in a fight with your boyfriend. Yeah. And then you get to go coordinate a wedding. Right. What? Yeah. Like nobody wants to do that. Right. So, there's times when you can't really separate those things and, , to have , your vendor pals, you know, see that and recognize that, that trauma bond, , it's, is powerful to me. That also does always, for me, it comes back to the hospitality piece too. Like, because we do this and we are hospitalitarian. Yes. I'm gonna use that word. Wow. Thank you. Thank you. Bobby Stuckey, for those of you who don't know, look it up. I feel like you sounded like, I feel like I'm like a dinosaur hospitality person.
Oh my God. But my point is, , there's also some trait in ourselves that makes us wanna take care of other people. Totally. Right? Like not necessarily in like a nursing kind of caretaking way, but in creating these experiences, right? Yeah. And sharing it with other people. So why we're also, I think, really good hosts in our homes and [00:18:00] we like having people over and entertaining like those also fall into the same category, right?
Yeah. We see a need and we take care of that need. So we do that with our fellow vendor friends when we're on site to take care of each other. Mm-hmm. , And also if you are shitting the bed for whatever is happening. Like, I got you on site, then I'm gonna step in and help. I'm gonna put the fire out even though it's not maybe my fire, my fire to put out because not only am I supporting you, but I'm making sure that our shared client is still fine.
Mm-hmm. Yeah. And is not gonna know and is gonna have the best day possible because we're here to take care of her. Like that's how it works. That's our end goal, which Lucky for us, brings us together to give us a stronger, more meaningful relationship.
This was one of my favorite ones from the robot. There's no clean segue for this listener, so I just gotta hit it. Was the, , , the superiority complex Oh, yeah. That the robot feels that we have. No, I think it's a great transition because here I am talking about like how kind we are to each other.[00:19:00]
And then it's like, well, I do think that I'm better than you. And that is true. I do think that I'm better. I do have that superiority complex. Why are you staring at me when you say this? I don't know. Shit. Ouch. I'm so hurt. Just kidding everyone.. I think the superiority complex just comes with the territory.
Totally. I mean, after being such a perfectionist, how can you be anything but superior? Right. And you are in sales. Yes, we're gonna talk a lot about sales and upcoming episodes, but in order to rep your brand and what you sell, a lot of people on this are solopreneurs.
Yeah. Right? Like you have to know that you're good at your job. Yep. You have to have this level of superiority and confidence. Maybe almost to, , a little bit of a, a detriment to you sometimes that you maybe get a little too high up there, but You have to have confidence in what you're doing. Yeah.
Or else, I mean, how are you gonna justify your price? Correct. How are you gonna book more clients? How are you gonna, stand up for yourself when someone's being an [00:20:00] asshole to you? Correct. Right. If you don't have confidence in your product, whether you're a planner or a florist or a dj, like I think some of that has to be there.
A little bit of that chip on your shoulder. Well, I think that maybe the robot was off. In that to your point, I think it's not necessarily a superiority complex, but it's confidence. Mm-hmm. Period. If that means that it might come across as superiority, then that maybe, again, that's something that we need to take to therapy.
Sure. But I think it is. Or maybe it's just not my problem. How you read it. Correct. Yeah. Like I have the confidence. If you're seeing me as superior, then that's , your problem. I don't have time for that. Sure. Like I'm good at my job. Yeah. I take care of my clients. I do these things. If you're successful in this business, then you should have that confidence.
I agree. And you should be demanding the pricing that you do, and you should be demanding the clients that are willing to pay that money. Totally. You know, like we don't grow if we. Don't push ourselves in that way. I agree. I a hundred percent agree to do the next best [00:21:00] thing, to do something better than the one you did before.
Like , everything builds on itself. Totally. And I think that what we do is. , There's a lot of pressure, right? Pressure in an emotional type way. Like we taught, you've brought , I think in previous episodes, that we're not curing cancer, we're not saving the world.
But you know, we are dealing with people and guests and families that are in emotional states. Yeah. They're treating it like it is the most important thing in their whole lives. They're giving us. A lot of money to do it. The stakes are high. May not be high for us because we're not performing surgery, but it's high.
Again, from a hospitality perspective, it's high for our clients. Yes, absolutely. This is what I love about the event community. Mm-hmm. Right? Is that we're all connected in all these ways that we may not realize at first because the clients come and go, my favorite part of having shared traits with you and other people is during an event. During a meeting, networking wherever that I can lock eyes with you. And I know we have the same fucking thought. Yes.
And I don't know if every community is like that. Maybe it is, maybe it's not. But it's like this could be a vendor that [00:22:00] I've worked with once or a hundred times. Yeah. And something happens and we lock eyes and our brains sink up. Yeah. You make that little rye smile. Or maybe you have that little chuckle and that moment just fuels you.
For , however long. Yeah. Like that to me is , the power of all of these shared traits that we've discussed Yeah. Is that we do have, , a pretty huge level of, , connection. Totally. And I love that when I meet somebody, or maybe I've known them for a long time, , and somehow in conversation it's like, oh, I was gonna be a lawyer.
This is what happened with you. It was like I was gonna be a lawyer. Oh, me too. Holy shit. You were, holy shit. You were. Oh my God. It's like of, of course. Of course you were. Of course you were. Because we just connect in that way. Mm-hmm. And so I love that. I love that about our little community.
So that's all. We're here to talk about today really is just. What brings us together, Leo and I are gonna go awkwardly lock eyes now and I encourage you to do the same with maybe your vendor [00:23:00] pals I know some of you guys listening to this driving up to the mountains Yeah. To go work.
So I would love for you to lock eyes with the person next to you. Oh my God. Let's start a thing. And she a thought, anyway, so that's all we're really here to talk about today is how we're connected because we have so many similarities. We thought it'd be fun to talk about. I'd love to hear, , if we missed anything, like, what do you guys think?
Send us a DM or send us an email. I am Leorah and this is Adrienne. I encourage you to go stare awkwardly at your event vendor. Best friend after this, only if you know they listen to the show. Only if they listen. 'cause it'll just be weird for you. , But this has been episode four. Thanks for joining us.
Till next time, bye bye.